Posted by vp19 on 2015.04.01 at 18:20
Current mood: giggly
By now, I suppose you’ve heard the latest bit of Carole Lombard-related news…and wouldn’t you know, it concerns a real-life heiress (unlike Carole’s Irene Bullock in “My Man Godfrey”):
“Paris Hilton cast as Carole Lombard bio-drama. She will play the legendary actress from her start to her ending. It’s a role of a lifetime for Miss Hilton.”
Now before any of you go do something rash that might involve bodily damage to you or others, we have a message for you: APRIL FOOL! And this “idea” of sorts wasn’t dreamed up by me, but someone named Joseph Oscar Halphen III at the Facebook site “Classic Film Lovers’ Haven” (https://www.facebook.com/groups/cflhaven/?fref=nf). What sort of reaction did it get? More than 40 comments in roughly three hours, such as:
* “Uh, yeah, right! In her wildest dreams!”
* “Wouldn’t surprise me if it’s true, the film industry scraping the bottom of the barrel.”
* “Sean Hayes as Clark Gable.”
* “She would do better playing Britney Spears.”
Or one-time mutual pal Lindsay Lohan, whose meeting was so memorably chronicled by the New York Post in November 2006?
Hilton has made cameos in a few movies (we’re referring to mainstream films, folks, not sex tapes), but if she ever entertained dreams of genuine movie stardom, she abandoned them long ago.
If Paris somehow comes across this, I hope she’ll take this in good fun, with no malice intended; I really rather respect her for what she’s accomplished as a businesswoman in recent years, creating an array of boutiques around the globe that sell perfumes and other Hilton-branded items. From reading interviews with her in business magazines, she’s learned a lot from her family heritage, and is putting her high spirits to constructive use, paraphrasing the advice Godfrey gave Cornelia Bullock near the end of that 1936 screwball classic. (Ever seen it, Paris? And how accurately have movies — comedic or otherwise — depicted heiresses?)
Or, as I wrote in a comment:
* “Paris’ legs are nearly as good as Lombard’s, and both were (or are) smart businesswomen; the similarity ends there. Now excuse me while I go somewhere and laugh off this April Fool’s joke.”
In that vein, here are a few humorous “quips” from Carole that I created as part of a thread some time ago on a Turner Classic Movies message board. Happy April Fool’s Day, gang.